Before understanding how to value yourself? Let’s learn something about relationship?
What is a relationship?
It’s a bond, connection, link between two individuals.
Exactly! between two individuals, then why just one person tries so harder than the opposite one and loses its Self- worth during this. Relationships are the foremost important a part of our lives. Relationships are sensitive and should be handled with care and love.
So now, what’s self worth?
Having a sense of self worth means you value yourself. In simple words not losing what you’re so as to become good for others.
Low self esteem undermines what you’re willing for yourself.
What do people do wrong in relationships ?
When they are in a relationship they seek to do things beyond their reach. Everyone does that, who don’t want to be perfect for their partner.
Men do things below the belt for their lady love. They push their limits every time so she doesn’t feel bad.
They reduce their own expenses so as to be a good boyfriend or husband. There is a limit to everything. You should do things to make them happy but don’t go beyond that limit that puts you in debt.
Women on other hand, loses herself in being a good girlfriend, wife, mother and daughter in law. They somewhere lose their identity behind them. A woman should live first for herself then for others.
For their beloved they do things that don’t make them happy. They do things of their choices, they do what they say. Some even don’t argue as they don’t want to fight.
But is it right? Yeah i got it you are trying to make ‘the one’ happy. But dah! What about you? What about your likes and dislikes? Having a different perception won’t make you wrong.
Both men and women do this. I’m not asking you to stop doing things for them but don’t get so indulge in making them happy that you forget what makes you happy?
People think it’s their job to keep them happy. If they don’t do they would fail in a relationship. When only one person is trying to save a relationship, then that person always ends up losing their self worth.
I’m not anti but loving yourself first in a relationship is something very important.
Stop being needy !
You should realize that people are not things that can fill voids in your life. It’s not their job to make you happy and it’s not also your job to keep them happy.
Speak up when your mind says not to. No one will stand up for you rather than you, have confidence in you to take your stand and stand by your words. Never beg for love and relationship.
Know your self worth in a relationship:
It’s you who is responsible for letting you down. No one can deceive you unless you don’t want to. You are responsible for your happiness.
Nowadays, there is something known as the ‘self-worth scale’!
This scale was developed by researchers Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, and Bouvrette in 2003 to measure self worth on the basis of few features :
1.Need approval from others :
What do people think of me? This can be positive or negative both.
We feel good when some other person praises us, when we also know we have done great. But then why their appreciation feels more satisfying.
2.Physical appearance :
My self esteem depends on how I look like my facial features and my overall appearance.
We can’t look good all the time. When we are out and not satisfied with our looks, we feel low and not confident. But when we are in our best dress we automatically feel confident.
3.Competing others :
My self worth depends upon how well I do when in competition with others. Our self worth booster is when I win over someone.
4.Competition in academics and job :
My self worth will boost if I get good marks or do a more respectable job.
My self esteem depends on how well my family treats me or how good I am for them.
6.Morals and ethics :
My self worth is dependent on how well I follow these ethics of life.
7.God’s love :
How fortunate I am in receiving God’s love will decide my self worth.
Now rate them from scale 1 to 7.
1 being strongly disagree and 7 being strongly agree.
What can you do to build your self esteem :
1) Start realizing your worth
What are you? What do you do? Doesn’t make you above or low. You are perfect in your own way. No one can decide your worth.
2) You need no one to make you happy
Happiness is an inside job. A happy person is the one who has a balanced life. Everyone has troubles and rejections in life. What makes you a happy person is living every moment to the fullest and being happy from inside.
3) Eliminate that self criticism
Looks, physical appearance, and a good job are few parameters which people consider to be happy and confident. Stop self criticising yourself.
Life is so big to think about these things. Parameter of life which matters is inner beauty. When you are beautiful from inside, then no one cares about the outer beauty.
4) Self acceptance
Self acceptance plays an important role in self worth. Accept what you are and what you have. You need no approval from others. It’s you who should be satisfied with yourself.
Accept and be grateful for whatever you have in life.
Satisfied with your life and live in peace
Accept yourself completely